Wonderful Wednesday Woot!

What We Do Is Secret
Cloverfield

The Doors - "Shaman Blues"
The Smiths - "Nowhere Fast"


I spent 30 minutes looking for a convertible Duffel/Backpack possibly with wheels. I am excited to travel. I am excited to take some time to be still and relax. There is always so much to do.

I have art to make. I have things to create. I have things to put together. I have things to share.

What can I do to make others smile?

You. Whoever you are... I love you.

11.4.14 Seneca Creek State Park, MD

Reconnected with some of my sisters in this life journey. I needed to take a break from everything and spend some time out in the sun. We walked on the trail around the entire perimeter of Clopper Lake. We spent some time sharing experiences and lessons on a rock by the lake and played on a recycled tire playground as if we were children once we completed the hike. 

The hike was not intensive. It was very moderate and level. Nothing too extreme. The trees were colorful and I loved watching each leaf float to the ground as it fell. I would prefer something with some height to be able to enjoy another view. It was a good day. I was able to voice and state some feelings that have been within me. I haven't declared them to the people who need to hear them the most but I have been able to articulate exactly where I am in this moment and what I would like. 

I want this. I want someone to love who will do this precisely: give me wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay. When I left this summer - I was ready. Life had given me someone who I felt could offer me this. I was ready to stay. Un/fortunately, they were honest with me and they set me free. They validated my tendency to run. 

I feel frustrated as I sit between action and inaction - knowing and understanding where I am emotionally. Wanting to reciprocate but trying to reconcile within the knowledge that I won't stay for either of the characters wanting of me in this presence. I am still healing. I need to communicate this so that they may understand. 

I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. I am love. 

Harsh Reality Check

Today was hard. Yesterday was hard. I had a harsh reality check - I got called out for missing my lesson plans at one of my placements.

SLOs. Data notebooks. Grade books. Lesson plans. Calendars.

I missed one staff meeting too many - I got the magnifying glass hovering over me shining a hot beam of light under me... the flame is burning at both ends. I am struggling to make up my work.

I understand that all teachers within this school are under the same expectations. I am not surprised but I flew under the radar for 2 years before they decided to look in on my teaching practice. Maybe it was a failure to communicate. They never directly talked to me. Passing greetings but an exhausting pre-service week led to nodding off in a staff meeting led to concerns. It didn't look good on my end to miss two staff meetings in a row.

Attendance is my mission now. You say "jump," I say "how high?" Great.

I need to be on point. Walking on egg shells. I am a ninja. Must excel this year to make things balance out better. Especially with travel in the horizon. Done.

Eustress. I missed Samba but this made me sit down and get some work processed. Good.

Where in the World is...?

I just remembered how obsessed I was with Carmen San Diego... maybe I read too much as a kid - 2015 is going to be insane.

Coming soon -
SAWA SAWA KIZOMBA FESTIVAL DC/NYC Embrace Event
CHICAGO - MCA David Bowie Is
BOSTON Brazilian Dance Festival

First ... SLEEP.
Then... WORK.
Eventually... PLAY.

I need to work on my space and build relationships. Open doors for myself - Take steps - Welcome whatever I seek.

AWAY MESSAGE

Nothing is wrong.

Take me away
Who?

Go away
Where?

I am away
When?

I am a way
Truth.

Why do I seek companionship? Am I seeking someone? I feel like I am armed with spikes all around like a rambutan. Mangosteen, please! I need to let someone crack through the rough exterior. I have much to give but I'm so busy guarding myself that I cannot let myself crack. Sweetness.

I know my power. I know my strength. I know my weakness. When will I control it?
When will I let go and trust the path before me? When is that time going to arrive? Now I feel like I am impatiently expecting and awaiting that arrival that I cannot enjoy my present. I feel disappointed.

Last time was a surprise. I wish I could have experienced more time in that relationship. Now I refuse to permit myself to regress because I have convinced myself that there is nothing there. However, in terms of travel, I am beginning to return to previous places in search of new experiences. Should I revisit past opportunities if the door is still open?

Keep traveling wandering soul. There is no place like home.

Assateague Island - August 2014

So in related news... Easton, MD & St. Michaels

So... apparently... the iPhone 6 was released today. - history - in- the - making -
Like every single release of NOW... that's what I call music. The marker of this generation.
I discovered this after I attempted to return to the AT&T store to purchase a new phone but was confused by the locked doors before me. I walked around the corner and the  other set of doors were also locked. I decided to read the sign on the door. it didn't quite process - something about returning tomorrow - the store would open back up at 8 am. There were people inside and then I noticed all the people waiting in the line outside the door behind me.

Naturally, I asked the closest person in line and they gave me the popular news that the iPhone 6 was released ... today.


right... SO I NEED A NEW CELL PHONE BECAUSE IT TOOK A QUICK DIP IN  A POOL IN EASTON, MD. I was too excited to return to a beautiful house that hosted a wonderful birthday weekend for a good friend of mine. We came and were blessed with a delicious Indian dinner and birthday cake. We spent the night talking and relaxing in the pool. The next day I woke up and reflected at the end of the dock. I relaxed in the sunlight. Water flowed beneath me and the breeze blew above me. I felt good. I could hear the leaves moving on the trees in the nearby shore. It was a beautiful Sunday day. I spent a lot of time in a hammock.

Once everyone was awake we had a nice breakfast. Afterwards, we explored nearby town of St. Michaels. We wandered through shops a little exhausted from the previous night. We had some food at a Ava's Pizzeria.

It has been 2 weeks. I stil need a new phone.



Sidenote: I listened to Kasbian - LSF and wished I could be walking down Camden in London now.