Bali was great. I was thankful I went. It was an experience that I learned a lot from. I also was able to learn how to take care of my needs after jet-lag. Upon returning home - everything was "go, Go, GO!"
It didn't help that I didn't sleep when I came home. I went out every night. I went to sleep at 4 in the morning. Woke up early to get to work. Everyone was in post-spring break mode. I was ready for summer vacation - BRING ON THE NEXT ADVENTURE!
Eventually I cracked... exhaustion got the best of me. I did too much and I did everything. I accomplished everything I needed to do at work. I successfully set-up a student art show with the amazing help of some of the greatest people I know. I have one more coming up this week. I don't know how I would do it if I were the lonely, only art teacher at a school. I am thankful for all my peers at each and every single school that I work at.
It was a Sunday morning that I lay in bed sobbing because the sun outside was so beautiful and I didn't have the energy to get myself out of bed. All I wanted was for someone to pick me up wrapped up in my blankets and just throw me in the front yard. I just wanted to sleep in the sunlight under some protective shade. Eventually, after cancelling all my plans and taking a sick day, I ended up exactly where I needed to be - surrounded by good friends lounging in thier back yard.
More and more days of work in between. Trying to stay on top of everything and still not resting. I finally grounded myself. I tried to stay still and center myself. Find a balance... Reality hit me hard when Sneaky cat got sick. The cat will be fine - I hope. It was the bills that knocked me out. Six days of hospitalization at the vet. I was fine spending the money on the cat until I put it into perspective. That money could have flown me across the world twice or paid three months of my rent while I was away. IT HURT. I was angry but such is life. I definitely learned a lot. I am currently learning how to be more appreciative and thankful to everyone who is offering help or sentiments. I don't know how to ask for help and it is difficult for me to accept it but I am learning.
I need to have a plan in place just in case the worst thing possible. I have no idea how this summer will end up. I won't have a job. I have some savings but I really want to pay off my loans and I want to pay off these vet bills. I don't like being in debt. I think I know exactly what I want for my birthday - I want to be free. Financially free. I am sure that some solution will arise during my journey this summer. I am preparing myself to experience life fully and welcome the vibrations of the universe - even the tremors that shake me off my feet.
No comments:
Post a Comment